Plans Being Made for Obama Presidency, Pentagon Officials Say

The Pentagon is not going to be caught by surprise if Senator Barack Obama wins the election. It is now making preparations to become an Islamic terrorist organization.

The sweeping plan includes implementing a “cell structure”, similar to those used in other terrorist organizations. Thus, any identity markers, such as names and numbers on doors, phone directories and the like, are to be removed. If one office should be compromised, it will not be capable of revealing the locations of any other offices.

Messages are to be delivered by couriers to avoid known methods of intercepting electronic communication. “We are well-informed about counter-terrorism strategies” said one Pentagon official who asked that his name be withheld.

The biggest change will be seen in the Media Relations Department. “You have to keep in mind that we are a very professional organization”, said another Pentagon official with knowledge of the plan. “Our equipment is of such high quality that making authentically low-cost productions, like the ones posted on YouTube by other terrorist organizations – it’s proving to be a challenge.”

Lighting and camera crews, in particular, felt that their equipment was too expensive to properly convey the realistic feel of traditional beheading movies.


Pentagon is making preparations to become a terrorist organization

Whatever the challenges the new role for the Pentagon will bring, methods developed during the War on Drugs and War on Terror will become very handy in the War for Muslim Values. Said one official: “The most important thing will be to spin the challenges and the victories in our own interest, and just try to stay on top of the mess. I remain convinced that we will continue to blow up people during our new, merciless jihad against the infidel, Zionist hordes", he said.